April Showers Bring May Flowers

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April 2018 has been the most insane month of my life. I have gone through drastic health changes, friend changes, and life changes. This month has been one of the worst and one of the best months of my life. I don't understand how something so bad can be so good and vise versa.

My life has completely changed this month. I went from loving someone unconditionally to being completely heart broken and torn in half. I went from knowing exactly what my future family looked like to having no idea. I went from being in my own little world -  off the radar - to being talk of Idaho Falls, not just the high school, the whole town. Most importantly I have learned so much.

People have created and spread rumors about me everywhere I look. People who don't even know me are saying and believing things about me that I would never do. I have lost some of my closest friends this month, but I have also seen their true colors. I have learned who is actually there for me and who is not. I have been demoralized by people I once thought would do anything for me. I been torn apart by things I have heard, but I have chosen to rise above these terrible lows.

I am a completely different person than I was a month ago, and I am so grateful for that. I am so blessed that I have been able to see truth and light through the last month, even though it hurt like hell. As the month goes on, I am reminded every day that I am where I need to be and that I have made the right decisions. I have never seen something piece together so perfectly. I read a post on VSCO that said something to the affect of "God wrecks your plans before your plans wreck you" and that could not be more true. I am so thankful for every experience that I have been through. I am so thankful for the people in my life who have shaped me into the person I am today. I do not regret a single day of my life, I am grateful. I am stronger than I have ever been because of the horrible things I have been through.

I am above this, and I hope that everyone else will join me. I hope that kindness is in everyone's hearts. I hope people realize how much their words can affect someone. I hope that people realize rumors and gossip are just that. I hope people realize that everything they hear is not true, actually very little of it is true. I would much rather someone come talk to me and ask me questions rather than spreading what they've heard. I am thankful for the few people who have cared to come straight to me instead of the girl talking about me in their 1st hour. I am ready to move on from this month. When this month ends, I really hope that the drama does too. 

My door is always open, to anyone who wants to talk. I will answer questions, I will tell the truth, I just want the rumors and the drama to stop. I am excited to see what my future holds and I am so glad to know that I am more prepared now than I ever have been. I'm excited to move forward in happiness. Thank you to everyone who has made me stronger the past month, whether you were a person who hurt me or a person who has helped me. I am thankful, I am stronger. I have learned, and I have grown. I know that these April showers will bring May flowers. 

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